Suh-weet, I get to talk about myself

If you’ve made it to this part of the website, you are probably obsessed with Pete. It’s understandable. Not only is he funny and charming, but he’s also incredibly sexy. He has the world’s most kissable lips. Look at the picture and see for yourself.

Pete, whose last name is pronounced “Ngwin?”, is the creator of this phenomenal website, ill-noise.com. He resides in Chicago and has been blogging since March 16, 2004. The content of the site tends to be in the form of observational humor and funny anecdotes, but Pete is also quite capable of being serious. He’s a sensitive and obviously complicated man, Pete is.

For those that are wondering, “Ill Noise” is a play off of the name of Pete’s state, Illinois. It is also a name that has a hip hop connotation. Pete is very proud of how clever he is for thinking of this name.

The website is powered by Movable Type 3.17, which means Pete is a pretty bad-assed blogger. Pictures are sometimes airbrushed using Photoshop to give the illusion that Pete has large biceps.

If you would like to get into contact with Pete, email him at petemnguyen@gmail.com. He is also reachable on AIM as the screenname “Pete M Nguyen”. Pete welcomes all stalkers.

Pete used to have a black penis.

Now that Pat Morita is no longer on this earth, Pete is now considered by many to be The Greatest Asian in the History of the Universe — although Jet Li and Tiger Woods would both like to call this title into question. Besides being the Greatest Asian in the History of the Universe, Pete is just an ordinary guy who grew up in the midwest. He enjoys rap music, basketball, baseball, movies, sirloin steaks, and talking in the third person.