Skinemaxorcism

I have a ritual with friends where after a night of heavy drinking we will return to my crib, gnawing on undercooked pizza and watching soft core porn on cable until passing out like dominos. I don’t know exactly why we always do this. Maybe there’s some sort of fascination with our indifference and overall lack of arousal to what is happening on TV, as if realizing that if we were all 13-year-olds again this would be freaking awesome, but instead we’re all in our late twenties and this is freaking sad is what it is.

I also have this really bad habit of visualizing demonic images when jogging late at night. I don’t know exactly why I do that. In my peripheral I see Linda Blair standing very still and staring at me with those yellowish eyes, that puffy white face, sweaty and flagellated and varicose veined. It makes me run a little faster I think.

Anyway we’re all in my living room watching a porno that, judging from the pubic trims of its stars, appears to have been made in the early 80s, and someone belches and nonchalantly says “salami tits” when the blonde one showers. We’re cackling for a few until another woman enters the scene and joins the blonde in the shower. She looks like someone we know, a really mean-looking version of Molly Ringwald and Princess Leia. She’s Linda Blair! All grown up now! And although this is a developing lesbian scene involving a former child star, all we’re seeing is the Devil in a little girl’s hospital gown projectile vomiting on a priest. Everyone is really super creeped out, especially me, especially because my ED seems to now be miraculously cured.