The Incident

Things were never quite the same after I stabbed my father in the living room with a candy cane that I’d been working on all afternoon, the end licked into a deadly sharp point, its red stripes fully dissolved in my mouth. He wasn’t even three steps from his recliner when I scampered up from behind and climbed onto his back and tried to pierce his carotid.

My father yelped in pain and tried to shake me off and I chirped, “But Daddy, it’s my vampire fang!”

Then he flipped me over his head and slammed me onto one of the end tables. He punched the air in disgust. “You stupid, stupid boy!” he growled, wiping his neck, pacing around in circles, trying to figure out how to get me back.