Thoughts on the Beijing Games

• Impressive ceremony, but it could have used a little more Kool and the Gang.
• Enough of these world records in swimming already. A world record is supposed to be a rare achievement that you can truly appreciate because chances are, it's not going to happen again for a very long time. Not in these Olympics. What's so amazing is how the announcers maintain the same level of enthusiasm each time a new world record is broken, like it didn't just happen about 18 minutes ago. Something crooked must be going on. That's why I like female gymnastics. Because it's legit. Everyone is clearly the age they claim to be.
• Let's put Phelps on the bench of the USA basketball team, and maybe beach volleyball. Dude should get 20 gold medals.
• Every time they say "double-double" during the floor exercise I'm thinking In-N-Out Burger. Maybe that's why I'm not an Olympian.
• If you only pay attention to gymnastics every four years, they now vault off of a giant portabella mushroom.
• Not only is DJ Kim a decent third baseman for the Korean Olympic baseball team, but he also works the post-victory raves in the locker room.
• I asked my dad over the weekend what Olympic sports Vietnam usually participates in, and he said it's always shooting. It's the only sport the Vietnamese are good at. My roommate told me the same thing about India. I don't know, maybe being godlike in math makes us really good at aiming?
• On Sunday I watched the USA vs. China basketball game and they played the "NBA on NBC" theme song whenever going into commercial break. It brought back some fond memories.
• England has an Olympic swimmer named Hannah Miley.
• I watch women's beach volleyball because it is the epitome of the Olympic ideals.
• And yet strangely, men's beach volleyball has no appeal to me.
• Whenever women's gymnastics on, somewhere Chris Hanson is in a house with a film crew muttering, "Well, I guess nobody's showing up tonight."