Don't try this at home, kids

My stupid computer wouldn't turn on. Well it would, kind of, but all that would happen was the fan making this screeching noise -- like paper being fed through a shredder -- and then the computer would shut itself off after a few seconds.

So I opened up the casing and peered around, looking for clues or whatever. Did you know that on the back of some computers there's a selectable AC output switch where you can change between 115 V and 230 V hee hee honk honk?

Well, before I continue, let me just say that I had a couple glasses of red wine right before I started doing this. And let me also say that I desperately wanted to get to the next item on my Netflix queue, hence my urgent need to remove the DVD currently in my computer and mail it.

And so, me being rationally impaired, I turned on my computer and immediately flipped the switch in the back to 230 V (voltage compatible with Europe, not with North America!) and watched white-hot sparks shoot out of my computer tower. The annoying but harmless paper-shredding sound now sounded like a lawnmower, and actually, I could probably more accurately describe the "sparks" as being "flames".

I didn't die, but the top of my lap got pretty hot. Yes, my computer tower was laying on my lap as I did this, and yes, I realize that I do NEED the top of my lap. For a multitude of tasks.

And because I never fail to add insult to injury, after unplugging my computer and ending the pyrotechnic show, I remembered that there's a little pinhole eject on the outside of my DVD drive for sticking paper clips into in case of emergency, but I didn't have any paper clips, so I used mechanical pencil graphite lead, which ended up breaking inside the hole and jamming the whole damn thing and making it impossible for me to receive Season 3, Disc 1 of Entourage in the mail by this Monday like I had hoped. Fuck me.