Two people on my bus every morning

First off there's the woman who may or may not be a midget. I mean there are midgets, right, but then there's also unusually short people and I can't tell with her, I really can't. It's difficult for her to step onto the bus if it isn't kneeling at the curb for her, that's how short she is. She's like Filipino or something. I have to ask. I must know. "You a midget or something?" That's a perfectly reasonable question and I will update you soon on the answer.

Then, from the Belmont stop, there's the law student guy, but he's like one of those people who reads case studies all day but then has a struggling indie band on the side? Like he's wearing heavy leather wristbands and his eyes look all beat-up but yet he's sporting a long-ass wool pea coat with huge buttons that remind me of the ones on Mickey Mouse's shorts? And my coworker who rides with me to work every morning is basically sliding off her seat she's so in love, and he's offering his seat to the midget because she keeps getting thrown around whenever the bus driver slams on the brakes, which makes my coworker gush: he's so dreamy. And it's all just kind of weird because when did law students get so cool? And why did he choose to pick that midget up by the armpits in order to place her in his seat?