#0
I spent at least twenty minutes on the toilet at work yesterday. Dude, I just wrote the quintessential blog opener. Anyway, I wasn't "going #2" (in fifth grade there was a hugely successful running joke about having to go #3 [#1 + #2] or #5 or #7, each with their own definitions, with I think #12 being just flat-out gastrointestinal detonation), I was just simply sitting there, chilling out, wanting to be somewhere else other than my desk.
I once read somewhere, probably the RedEye, that going to the bathroom on the job is an important time, a time of respite and quiet contemplation -- the only time you can really be yourself, letting your work-face slip off. That this alone time can actually increase productivity.
Thing is, no one ever mentions how you have to sit and listen to other people go to the bathroom, which as you know is a real mixed bag. The highlight yesterday was the guy who peed for so long that I was convinced he was pouring something out of a barrel or large urn. Also there were like three or four false endings which made the whole experience seem even longer.
The good news is that someone prints out articles from the current day's ESPN.com and scatters them on the floor of every handicap-friendly stall in the building, for all to read. They've been there on the floor every time I've visited. It's possibly the closest our sad, modern world can get to a Johnny Appleseed.
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9 Comments
I have a feeling you could write an ongoing toilet-centric blog if you wanted.
productivity sky rockets at work once the kids are dropped off at the pool. This is my conclusion after much scientific study.
Well I hope you were doing something productive like reading those espn articles instead of just sitting there thinking.
What is it with men and reading material while on the toilet?
I must admit... Sometimes I print out YOUR blog to take with me to the john. It definitely improves the experience. ;-)
I hate going in a handicap stall. There's something about all that extra room that makes me feel uneasy. I think its because I'm afraid someones gonna open the door and I'm too far away to close it back shut myself.
I think pete could write about bowel movements, attempting bowel movements and pretending to have bowel movements to get out of work etc., everyday for the next 40 years and never get tired of it.
An empty office bathroom can be the greatest place of Zen in the world. Too bad our office is never empty.
tomorrow, blog on the toilet
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