Sneeze

Okay, so I'm tilting my head back and bracing myself for a thunderous sneeze, and quickly wondering what exactly will happen to the mint that's currently dissolving in my mouth. So I sneeze and then like come to and start putting together the shattered pieces of my life and feel around and there's no mint in my mouth as far as I can tell. And even after a fairly thorough examination of my immediate surroundings there's no trace of mint or mint shrapnel. Apparently the force of my sneeze totally disintegrated the mint. And as I was opening the sticky file where I keep epitaph ideas ("Pete Nguyen: His head was a science experiment"), my shirt got caught against the edge of my desk and something fell out and I thought I'd snapped a button off but no it was the mint. THE MINT I WAS TALKING ABOUT EARLIER IN THIS PARAGRAPH. I guess it'd gotten stuck on my shirt. Ha ha, you! You mint you. And then I ate it! Basically living on the edge and not caring whether I lived or died. I was all giving the finger to the 3-second rule, I guess. Do you find me interesting and dangerous.