← Previous Next →

Ice fishing tale

Sean -- or is it Shawn? -- Shawn is telling me about the time he pulled this thing out of the ice that definitely wasn't of this earth, like no way did our Lord in heaven ever concoct such a creature, because why even bother? The thing obviously served no purpose except to terrify. And I was like Well maybe it ate something at the bottom of the lake and if that something didn't get eaten, well then, wouldn't we all be screwed? And Shaun or whatever said he'd rather take that something over this monster any day of the week. What with the rubbery black skin -- skin, mind you, not fish scales -- and the spine and the teeth and the no eyes to speak of and the... I don't know what you'd -- like the wings, maybe? Like fucking bat wings? Holy God what a horror.

So what'd you do with it? I ask, and Sean says he threw it on the grill back home and had it for a kind of late lunch. What'd it taste like? I ask, and he says it tasted gross but his nightmares disappeared. You don't dream anymore? I ask, and he says he dreams every night just like every other red-blooded American but the dreams rule now. Floating in warm water, flying through forests, receiving the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. And plenty of old high school crushes, a couple times a week at least.

I ask him if it was at this lake where he got the thing and he says no, it was further up at Noquebay. So I finish the coffee, pack up my gear. I tell him this was an even bigger waste of time than I thought.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

14 Comments

#1 Chris

I'm trying to think of what your friend could have caught. A catfish? But they don't have bat wings...

January 20, 2008 10:41 AM
#2 Melanie

Ice fishing?? That's pretty random.

January 20, 2008 11:24 AM
#3 cole

yeah I thought ice fishing was for drunk middle-aged men ;)

January 20, 2008 12:48 PM
#4 Andrew

you are a strange one. Go packers..

January 20, 2008 07:42 PM
#5 David

wow, why would you go fishing in weather like this? hardcore, man

January 20, 2008 09:01 PM
#6 Katie

Hahaha, that was cute/funny. I'm showing this to my husband... :)

January 20, 2008 10:44 PM
#7 Marci

That's awesome.

January 20, 2008 10:47 PM
#8 Julie

I used to sell ice fishing equipment. With everything poor soul who approached me, I always wondered which wire in their brain was fried to think fishing through ice in STUPID cold temperatures was a good idea. Says a lot about you Pete, although nothing new I didn't already know =)

January 21, 2008 09:40 AM
#9 J-me

I like you spelled Sean's name 3 different ways!

Ice Fishing....eh

January 21, 2008 11:36 AM
#10 Photo Phil

I was waiting for the 'and then I woke up' at the end...

January 21, 2008 01:48 PM
#11 Steve

That was great. Makes me want to go ice fishing now (even though everyone else commenting thinks you are crazy).

January 21, 2008 04:46 PM
#12 Frank

exactly what i told you...you are a random fellow.

January 21, 2008 07:58 PM
#13 Brendan

I hope that tiny blue gill on your Flickr feed isn't the only you caught all day, otherwise you are absolutely right--it was a big waste of time!

January 21, 2008 11:51 PM
#14 Lynn

Are you combining commas with dashes now just to be obnoxious
-- skin, mind you, not fish scales --

January 23, 2008 07:00 AM