Savant

"Being here playing blackjack has me thinking. You know how when newbies go to Vegas, they always stay at the Luxor, because they're broke college kids and found some deal on Expedia? And despite the fact that it's so damn far away from everything, they're happy because what could be more elegant than a black pyramid that shoots a white beam of light into the sky? Not those other hotels whoring themselves with neon and fountains. Then of course they walk down the Strip, wandering through the high-end hotels. And after the Bellagio, nothing is ever the same. Because after that, they're turning up their noses at the Venetian and those corny-ass indoor canals, they're rolling their eyes at the tacky pirate ship of Treasure Island, they're yawning at Caesar's Palace."

"Pete, get to your point, and try to pay attention when the dealer is staring at you on your turn..."

"My point, dude, is that this is exactly what's been happening to you. This is why you keep standing up all those poor internet chicks you arrange dates with. This is why you called up me and the others to come bro out with you here at a riverboat casino in freaking Aurora in mid-December. Because those internet girls? You're comparing them all to Tricia, dude. Tricia is your Bellagio."

"Man, you need to be cut off. No more Scotch for--"

"--And I say, just relax a little. Put yourself out there, dude. You're thousands of miles from the Bellagio, and frankly -- you're my buddy but let's be real here -- you and I both know the Bellagio wasn't at your pay grade. I'm talking about Tricia here. She would have had you broke in two days, dude! Just like the Bellagio. Get it?"

"..."

"And ain't nothing wrong with the Hollywood Casino Aurora, after you get used to it for a while, even if you're rubbing elbows with grannies all night. Get it?"

"Pete, your analogy is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard, and it's definitely not making me feel any better. Let's just fucking play, alright? Now go do your Rain Man thing. You haven't won jack shit yet and I'm getting impatient."

"Oh, dude, Ryan was just messin' with you guys earlier. I don't really know how to count cards."

"...So you give horrible relationship advice AND you're not going to help me win thousands tonight. What good are you?"

"I dunno. But the stuff about Tetris? That's all true."