Pasties
"What is up with all those pasties?" guys asked me all night, and I could only say, "It's so if Phil takes a nipple in his mouth, he only tastes plastic."
Those indignant horny bastards, they'd all shake their heads, saying, "Pete what the fuck. Why did you take us to this club. The pasties are so distracting. So frustrating. So unfair."
"I reckon, if you wanna go to a real strip club, you gotta drive down to central Illinois," Kevin yeehawed later on, his cigar firmly clamped between his teeth as he spoke. "More grindage, no pasties."
But then, out of nowhere, just when we thought things couldn't get any more bizarre, there was a
I'd just like to thank all the guys involved with Phil's bachelor party on Saturday night. I'm not sure if anything could have possibly lived up to the hype generated by all of the emails I sent out, but all I know is Phil stumbled home, grinning ear to ear, DRUNK OUT OF HIS MIND, which is all that really mattered. That end result was mostly due to the heroics of Kevin and DJ, who both really went above and beyond the call of duty by constantly shoving vodka and tonics into Phil's hands all night, eventually transforming him into a sloppy, unintelligible Frankenstein monster.
Considering all of the 6 feet, 8 inches, and 280 pounds of Phil that we were up against -- the only other proven way to sedate him is with several tranquilizer darts designed for elephants or rhinoceroses -- I consider it a huge accomplishment that we got the big galoot drunk and happy.
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7 Comments
Why did you cross out the first part?? Just when it was getting good too!
Pasties are fun.
so how much alcohol did it actually take to get him drunk?
im looking pictures of him on your flickr...he looks like a giant!!!
Haha, thanks Pete, it was a great time. Now your job is to write that speech!
I know it took a lot, I still find it funny that people were saying I needed food before we started drinking, so I wouldn't be passed out in an hour.
Well as DJ knows from my 21st bday, the object of getting me drunk usually means lots of drinks for me, and little for himself. This is not something I like, now you know why I don't go to bars too often, it takes too much $ to get a buzz.
And the two foot piece of Bacci pizza was perfect to close the night!
Thanks to everyone who could join me!
Sounds like your group of guys went to VIP's ;-)
Dancers in central IL strip clubs may do more, but they're definitely not model material.
I say forget the code of silence and spill the beans about the night! I know there is a great story you are keeping from us!
It was a good time..........and phil had fun so thats all that mattered