Lookalike
A game that I like to play a lot is I match every person I know to their celebrity equivalent. It's just something I do. I do this as soon as I meet them -- I'll spend the next half hour pondering which celebrity they remind me of. Don't ask me why.
Take for example, my buddy Dave. He's a gelled-hair, less-bisexual version of Keanu Reeves.
Phil is a taller, happier version of Mark McGwire.
Jaimie is an eyebrow-less Rachel McAdams.
I do this for everybody -- every single friend, every single acquaintance. If you're reading this blog and I know you in real life, trust me, I have thought about who would play you in a movie about your life. You just never knew.
Tina is Marisa Tomei. Kevin is Drew Carey. Larry is Bob Saget/Stephen Colbert. Angie is Vida Guerra. Missy is Julianne Moore. Stewart is Jim Breuer. Frank is Jon Favreau. Tom is John C. Reilly. May is Virginie Ledoyen. Roy is Bill Murray. My boss is Reese Witherspoon. My dentist, Sanjay Gupta. My barber? Morgan Freeman.
Although it might seem like a fun thing to do at the onset of boredom, I consider this need to figure out everyone's celebrity counterpart to be a horrible curse. It's done me more harm than good. Like the time I told the procurement director at one of my internships a few years ago that he resembled Geraldo Rivera, and he got so offended for whatever reason that I ended up picking up the lunch check for the both of us.
In different variations, that has probably happened to me about four times in my life. Those involved the celebrities Mike Ditka, Joy Behar, and Glenn Close.
Even more inconvenient is that the underwriter at work that I've known for over a year now looks so much like Cameron Diaz that I honestly do not remember what her real name is. I call her Cam, and she never corrects me because she thinks it's flattering, but one time when I had to email her a spreadsheet, I DIDN'T KNOW WHO TO SEND IT TO. I scanned the employee directory in Outlook and nothing popped out as familiar. I seem to remember that she has one of those alliteration names, like Lois Lane or Vicky Vale or whatever, but that still doesn't help me.
But the real curse is when it takes forever to figure out someone's celebrity match.
Case in point, my friend Julie.
I have no idea who she looks like, and it's been bothering me for the year and a half I've known her now. Weird how I was able to figure out her fiance within minutes of the first time I ever met him (Tim Matheson), but with Julie I'm still clueless. Still drawing a blank.
On Saturday I showed up to her housewarming party, where I met the likes of Alan Ruck, Allison Mack, James Iha, Billy Crudup, and Isla Fisher. It was a good time.
But Julie? She was still Julie.
And it's becoming aggravating by the day, the fact that I can't even find one single celebrity that looks like her. It's an assault on my intelligence, my manhood. No one is that unique looking. Everybody, whether they want to believe it or not, is a celebrity lookalike.
I've lost enough sleep over this. You got any ideas?
And don't be smart ass and say "Geraldo Rivera", because you'll end up paying the lunch check and not being asked to return for next summer's internship.
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34 Comments
that girl looks nothing like rachel mccadams are you crazy? good picks for the two other guys though.
i cant think of anyone for julie, but it will come to me later.
No she does not look like Rachel. Stephen Colbert Woot! Much better than Bob Saget, thank you.
Haha...nice. Theres a website where you can upload your picture and it matches yuor face to a celebrity. I did that before and it gave me Angelia Jolie.....Inaccurate because I am a man.
Here's a couple more that will keep you awake...
Who would play Lynn in a movie? Who would play me in a movie? You? Lynn's gentleman caller?
And don't be a smart-ass.
I'm going to be a smart ass and say she looks like, Geraldo Rivera.
So is it bad that I actually spent the last 15 minutes of my life thinking about this? This is the effect your blog has on me. My guess is Marty McFly's g/f in Back to the Future.
im gonna go with tiffany amber-thiessen.
Kate Winslet??
http://www.discoverkate.com/gallery/details.php?image_id=9950
Dude wtf I just googled John C. Reilly and he looks goofy as hell, he's not even a quarter hot as me.
WOW!!! You picked an awful pic of me for that!!! Thanks
What about Brook Burns for Julie? She's the chick that hosted that Dog Eat Dog game show
Jessica Biel.
Entertaining post. I don't even know these people but I'm interested in seeing more side by side celebrity photo comparisons of your friends. Come up with a follow up post!
haha cool!
what celebrity do you think I look like???
maybe your friends beauty defies comparison, ha. you mentioned it earlier for another friend but i think julianne moore works.
hahahaha... "eyebrowless Rachel McAdams" you crazy man..
this really keeps you up at night? should we be worried?
I ran one of those face recognition programs on some pictures. Some of the names that came up where Jessica Biel (mostly), Holly Marie Combs, Kristin Cavallari, Brooke Burns, that Stephanie girl from Full House, Hillary Duff, Elizabeth Taylor and Matt Dillon...haha. Even got one Jessica Alba! I wish THAT was true;)
So Jaimie and Will?....you guys are good. Otherwise...I dunno. You asked me a year ago and I didn't have an answer for you then!
That Jessica Biel suggestion was way off the mark. And Brook Burns? Are you serious? Come on people, you can do better than that. Scour IMDB if you have to. FIND ME THAT CELEBRITY.
Tasha, I've thought about it years ago. You are Thandie Newton. Lynn is Tatyana Ali. Pratik is Jay Hernandez.
Anne, you are Alison Lohman.
Amanda Bynes.
Ha, this cracks me up that you do this to everyone you meet. I remember talking to you before about Missy being Julianne Moore. Vida Guerra works for me! lol I really can't place Julie either... I'll keep thinking!
haha, i love how tormented you are about this...you think about and observe the most random things!! but maybe thats why your a writer! =)
your friend reminds me of an actress but i cant think of it at the moment...i dont think she was too famous tho.
Michelle Trachtenberg
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005502/
Why are me and Tasha black?? Our ghetto days are that of the past. Jay Hernandez is hot though, great choice!
I smiled the entire time through this post... very cute and amusing. I still can't think of who looks like her but I know I'll be trying to figure out in my head during my drive home from work in a bit... See what you have done to us?
Keri Russell??
http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/MMPH/C55784~Keri-Russell-Posters.jpg
Don't you hate when you confuse Brooke Burns with Brooke Burke? The Battle of the Brookes continues well into 2007...
Now that I know which one she is, Brooke Burns actually isn't a bad suggestion.
Glad ya'll seem to be enjoying the post. This was actually my birthday present to Julie because I needed a good excuse to walk out of Best Buy empty-handed, so I thought I'd go ahead and get thousands of people on the internet to analyze and dissect her face.
Julie loves it.
What do you think about Toni Collette, if she was 15 years younger?
I am going to say a younger Patricia Heaton (from "everybody loves raymond")
http://www.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/2150/Events/2150/PatriciaHe_Grani_1534799_400.jpg.html?path=pgallery&path_key=Heaton,%20Patricia
So you never answered the question posed earlier by someone else: who would play you in a movie?
I think the obvious answer is I would be created with CGI. But if I absolutely had to pick someone, it would be Jim Carrey.
This may be a bit of a stretch but how about Claire Forlani? Just my $.02.
lol i think people are starting to just randomly say any blue eyed brunette celebrity.
Arielle Kebbel maybe?
http://imdb.com/gallery/granitz/3974/Events/3974/ArielleKeb_Caulf_6817383_400.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Kebbel,%20Arielle
http://imdb.com/gallery/granitz/4919/Events/4919/ArielleKeb_Grani_9034033_400.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Kebbel,%20Arielle
http://imdb.com/gallery/granitz/3631/Events/3631/ArielleKeb_Cohen_6094097_400.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Kebbel,%20Arielle
apparently it chops long lines, awesome
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Can you seriously give me a better pic than that? And I'm the shit! She's totally Brooke Burns