Three years of self-deprecating self-aggrandizement
First of all, I just want to extend my gratitude to John over at Solid Internet Systems, Inc. for renewing the domain for ill-noise.com for yet another year. John's been my accomplice for nearly two years now, generously providing me free webhosting so that I could continue my part in making the world a better place.
Ill Noise is officially three years old today, and in these three years I have yet to come across a greater creative outlet for me than this site. There's nothing like the feeling of sitting at your computer right before bedtime, typing something up, and giggling to yourself. Okay, so that just sounded ridiculously creepy. But there's still nothing like it is all I'm saying.
My entire life is on this thing, and if that's a bad thing, I can't tell, because this blog has helped me cope with my grandma's death, maintain my sanity during grad school, lament about my place in the universe, document some of the best days of my life, and tell my friends and family how much I love them the best way I know how.
The stories are all true, although I will take liberties with dialogue for comedic effect if need be. So yes, I have indeed spilled my beer on a baby. I did try flossing with a debit card in the bathroom of my workplace. I did blow into my dad's used condom when I was five years old, thinking it was a transparent balloon. I have drunkenly harassed a homeless man. That night I got mugged in Champaign? Trust me, it happened. The time I tanned my penis black? All true.
And if I didn't say I wasn't more than proud of my blog, I'd be lying. Recently, I've been offered an intriguing (although non-paying) gig to write for a news parody publication. That's an ego boost. Also, I receive about one or two emails a week from people telling me how much they love my writing, which doesn't exactly make me bigger than Jesus and the Beatles combined or anything, but when I get these emails, I just shake my head and think, Wow, my sophomore year honors English teacher was totally wrong about me, because, yes, despite my love for commas and run-on sentences, I am a good writer.
What's next for me? Well, you're not going to like it. I'm afraid that this site will not see its fourth birthday. The plan, for now, is to keep updating the blog for another two or three months or so -- get it all out of my system -- and then just call it quits. Sorry, John. You renewed for nothing.
I haven't ruled out the possibility that I will change my mind, because trust me, blogging is one of the most pleasurable things in my life, but as of now I just believe that it's what I need to do in order to continue evolving as a person. Otherwise I'd someday be a 40-year-old man typing on his laptop at 2 AM, giggling to himself, creeping his wife out.
I'm going to need new challenges, new things to get excited about. Maybe I'll get serious about writing the great American novel. Maybe I'll get into stand-up comedy like I've always wanted but been afraid to pursue. Maybe I'll actually think about my real job for once and focus on being the most formidable number cruncher in the history of number crunchers. Maybe I'll -- shit, this entry turned into a fucking downer didn't it?
Okay, just read this, laugh a little bit, try to talk me out of quitting my blog, and then enjoy these last few months of Ill Noise.
The farewell tour begins...
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17 Comments
You can't stop blogging! It gives me so much pleasure...you wouldn't wanna take that away from me, would you?!
I've been reading Ill Noise for almost its entire run, and having seen your writing improve by leaps and bounds I wondered how much better you could get. Not that you don't get enough recognition, I just want to say that you are one of the best. I applaud your desire to move on to other things, but just know that a lot of people are going to be disapointed when you end this thing.
Teachers only complain about run-on sentences when they cannot comprehend anything past simple ones.
Yes, there are rules and general forms in every language that must be adhered to; to maintain order, but im sure that most of her complaints regarding your writing was _completely_ subjective. The idea that writing can be 'graded' is largely illogical.
I dont think you run-on at all dude, more power to those with lexical processing power.
You better not leave us, what else would I read in the morning??
You have quite the collection of great stories there Pete. If you're too lazy to write a novel you could always make a compilation of Ill Noise stories. I'm sure you have enough for a book.
Pete, you've got an excellent blog...it'll be a pity to see you go (although I almost constantly feel the same way about my own blog). I've always thoroughly enjoyed your anecdotes.
....you're like Barry Sanders...leaving at the top of your game. I'm more like a Scottie Pippen. I just can't let go.
Hey...if you ever feel like you want to get together and write a better version of Good Will Hunting with me (only more fart and penis jokes)...then just let me know.
So let's get this straight. You are quitting because you believe its preventing you from evolving? What exactly do you want to evolve into? Personally I think this blog brings out the best in you. It allows you to express yourself and give people a taste of the colorful world you live in.
Don't blame a quarter life crisis, which is what this is sounding like, on your blog... you can still challenge yourself while blogging.
We all know this is all just a marketing ploy. You're not quitting.
You're trying to be like Jay-Z, quit after the Black Album and then come back better than ever in a year.
Please take the place of Dat Phan.
i agree with Will...if you want to evolve, then do this along with the news parody offer. That sounds like a great start to a possible career you love...one day you will be paid. And in your honor, KC and the Sunshine band's "Please don't go"
Babe, I love you so
I want you to know
that I'm going to miss your love
the minute you walk out that door
so please don't go
don't go, don't go away
please don't go
don't go, I'm begging you to stay
If you live, at least in my life time
I had one dream come true
I was blessed to be loved
by someone as wonderful as you
Hey hey hey
I need your love
I'm down on my knees
beggin' please please
please don't go
don't you hear me baby
don't leave me now
oh no no no don't go
A common theme that I've been seeing/hearing from people is that stopping the blog isn't necessary if I'd like to become a writer, and that it would in fact nurture my writing ability, yada yada yada. I just want to make clear that my decision to end this thing in a few months has nothing to do with a desire to become a "serious" writer. The assumption of a lot of people is that I'm using this blog as a vehicle for becoming a published author, but honestly that has never been the case.
I've always found routine to be a very dangerous thing, because of how limiting it can be. This is probably why I avoided regularly watching TV shows for quite some time (thanks Frank, for corrupting me into religiously watching 24 and Lost, you fucking bastard); I hate obligations. There's a difference between discipline and obsession, and I suspect that my reasons for consistently writing an anecdote about my life every other day of the week, for the past three years now was not the result of discipline.
A couple days ago when I was out with Stewart and a bunch of his friends, his brother pointed at me and said, "Are you... the blog guy?" I don't want to be the blog guy. I don't want Ill Noise to be the end-all definition of me. I'm a guy that needs to mix things up a little. My creative projects make life enjoyable for me, and for me to allow my life to spiral into routines would be like someone eating hamburgers for dinner every night for eternity. Sometimes, it's time to move on.
never say forever!
How about we get that wild side out of you and get you a tattoo? Then you could blog forever!!!!
Not too many "humor" blogs show as much heart as yours, Pete. You absolutely can and will do whatever you want, as you have in the past, but permanently leaving the thing you have a verifiable gift for would be sad for the Internet! Let's hope you experience a change of heart soon.
Aw. Your black penis story got me hooked.
I agree that routine is a dangerous thing, it's why I make it a rule that I blog when I feel like it. Not because I have to, only because I want to. I've been writing for a very long time, even before the blogging craze began. I was saving my html files seperately for each day. It was way before css and all that came out. That's how long ago I started writing.
So blog when you feel like it. As you said, it's your blog, you do it because you enjoy it. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it. I get the feeling that you'll miss it once you quit, and you will be back sooner or later. I know, because it happened to me, I would not be surprised at all if it happened to you.
It is indeed a pity that you have decided to quit. Perhaps it's for the best. I wish you all the best in all that life has to offer!
A long time fan.
i love reading your blog! it cracks me up - especially the stories about your family :). Just like we gotta keep hanging out in Chicago, you gotta keep up this blog!
Ha, Kerry, I'm a Scottie Pippen too.
Pete, fellow long time blogger, we started together way back when. I think it'd be sad to see your blog go, however I do know your anti-routine ways. Your blog/writing has improved with time, mine well,.. stale. You've influenced lots of people here I think, you want to lose that?
So what if your the "blog guy". Lookit someone we both know, Karlababble. You have to look forward to blogging about your wedding day, first baby, babies first words, first steps, all in a Pete-worded-anecdote-blog.
You want to disown that?
I think your future special someone will take pride in your blog as much as you do, not look down upon you for it.
Take a break, but I think you'll see you miss it. Ill-Noise is just a part of The Greatest Asian in the History of the Universe, no matter what, forever, even if you do attempt to disown it.