P as in penis!

Don't you hate when people excessively play the "letter" as in "word" game when spelling out their names?

I just got off the phone with a client representative who you could tell was of Eastern European, possibly Lithuanian descent, because of his robust six-syllable last name, a name so long it made me wonder if there were enough boxes to hold all the letters in his name when filling out a standardized test form in high school.

To protect his identity, I'll refer to him as Martynas Andriuskevicius (500 points to Gryffindor if you can tell me who that person is without Googling it), and when our phone conversation was coming to an end and I asked for his name and email address, he started off like this: "Okay, it's Martynas Andriuskevicius. That's M as in monkey, A as in apple, R as in robot, T as in tree, Y as in young, N as in nice, A as in anteater, S as in soldier..."

It was so excruciating to listen to, I couldn't help but succumb to a major attack of the giggles, followed by the urge to put him on speakerphone for my entire office to hear. I was also fighting the urge to mockingly chime in, especially when he was starting to run out of steam by the middle of his last name.

It would have gone like this:

"... K as in... as in... um..."

"Kinky?"

"Yeah. E as in..."

"Erotic?"

"...Alright. V as in--"

"--Vagina!"

"I as in...?"

"Inflammatory bowel disease!"

"Hehe. C as in cunt!"

"That's the spirit!"