← Previous Next →

Raise

I just got a raise. A 7% raise.

Apparently these people think that I'm "hard-working, clever, disciplined, innovative, sharp, a great people person, an adept problem solver, and an integral part of our company's future."

What these people don't know is that I routinely spend the first couple hours of each day setting my fantasy basketball lineups and reading ESPN.com articles, and that my lunch hour is more like an hour and fifteen minutes. Hard-working? Sure, during the total 35 minutes of work I do a week.

Just kidding. I've worked really hard to impress these guys, but I'm a bit surprised and flattered that they've given me a nice raise like this just 6 months after I've started working.

I don't think this feeling of elation will subside until at least February. Not to sound smug, but I fucking love my life right now.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

8 Comments

#1 Randi

Congrats Petie. That's a reaaaaally good %. Esp. since I bet you're making hella better bank than me and I just got a piddly 3% raise in July.

In any event, way to go. I goof off about 34 hours a week and still manage to look like a badass too, so I feel ya. ;) Makes me wonder WTF everyone else in the office is up to? hm.

December 21, 2006 07:55 PM
#2 Lynn

i love your life too. thanks for the spending money big bro!!

December 21, 2006 08:59 PM
#3 Mike S.

7% of what you were making before...damn thats a pretty good chunk of change there. Nice xmas gift for you, congrats!

December 21, 2006 11:54 PM
#4 Kerry

That's awesome!

It's always great to be in a job where people recognize your brilliance.

2 months ago, I went into my boss's office to bitch about my pay when he told me I'd be getting a 17.5% raise at my six month review. I kinda silently walked backwards out of his office as I collected my leavings off the floor (since I shit my pants).

Bravo Zulu, Pete!

December 23, 2006 09:13 AM
#5 Pete

No, Bravo Zulu to you! You've humbled me. 17.5%?! That's just unheard of.

You win.

December 23, 2006 10:30 AM
#6 Jaimie

Well I've been at my job for 16 months and I've gotten 4 raises already!!! $1 each time!!! We must be good at faking it...lol

December 23, 2006 10:22 PM
#7 Meg

LOL! Were those really their comments verbatim? I don't know if you remember, but when you IMd me with the good news I wrote, "Well, of course. You're hardworking, an innovative thinker, and extremely easy to get along with."

I could be your boss.

1000% raise for you! Although I'd probably pay you in meat and cheese.

December 24, 2006 03:05 PM
#8 Pete

Yeah, it was verbatim.

December 24, 2006 06:17 PM