Mo money mo problems
This was last Thursday when a bunch of us were huddled around a TV set watching the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy, which I will be the first to tell you is overrated. I'd never seen Grey's Anatomy before, but what I assumed the show possessed was clever writing full of pathos and strong characterizations. Which it may very well have -- I'm told that the season premiere wasn't on par with the show's normal standards -- but I can tell for sure that Grey's isn't edgy enough to keep me interested.
In my humble opinion, the best thing on television continues to be Baseball Tonight.
We spent every commercial break talking about all kinds of random bullshit -- from those Madagascar hissing cockroaches that you can eat at Six Flags to cut ahead to the front of the line, to the simplistic yet difficult-to-get-right recipe for spinach dip, to how Walmart is now offering prescription drugs for as little as four dollars -- and with each break I was realizing how I was more interested in our conversations than I was with the show. By 8:38, when that quarantined dude found out his wife died and started hyperventilating in front of a helpless Dr. Miranda Bailey, I just couldn't wait for the inevitable dramatic cut to commercial break.
Tabatha, the one hosting the Grey's shindig, she used one of the last commercial breaks to tell us about a friend of hers who was taking a pill to prevent panic attacks. "It's awesome," she said. "I think it's, like, Zoloft, or Zantac, or Ziac... or something. One of those drugs that start with a 'Z'."
"And she takes this pill, and it just makes her stop worrying about money!"
Jenny's eyes widened. Tabatha's roommate sat up in her seat. And Cody, their dog, snorted.
Tabatha continued: "It's crazy. I mean, she will try and try and try her best to worry about money... she will concentrate on worrying about money until she's red in the face... but she can't. That's how powerful that pill is, the one that starts with a 'Z'."
And I joked, "Damn, well if Walmart sells that shit for four bucks, I'm buyin'!"
But no one knew I was joking. Everyone just nodded their heads in agreement, fantasizing about a life of fiscal insouciance.
It's startling to me how often people allow money to walk all over their daily thoughts. How people obsess over their salary. How they will walk to work with a coffee in hand, and their checking account balance in mind. How they know exactly how much of their student loans need to be paid off. How a five cent increase or decrease in gas prices will get everyone talking.
Because me, personally, I've never been very interested in money. It's just not something that has ever motivated me, and it's not something that I really ever think about, much less get excited or scared over. That's why I find it funny how much people stress out over something as incredibly petty as money.
I understand that part of this is my naivete talking, from growing up in a household where we were more than comfortable financially. People struggle to make ends meet, yes, I know that, I understand that, but what I'm talking about here is not people who are worried about their own survival. Rather, I'm talking about the typical, middle-class fresh-out-of-college kids who would do anything for a pill that would rid them of worrying about why their cell phone bill is higher than it should be.
My question is, Why let it bug us so much? Don't we make enough money? Aren't we all talented-enough individuals, with our college degrees and whatnot, that we will never have to worry about not having a job to pay the bills?
Us yuppies don't know it, but as long as we follow the track, we're all set for life.
Which means our only concerns in life should be about living it to its fullest.
This is not to say that it's unwise to exercise a little financial discipline. My first weekend living here in the city, I spent one thousand dollars. Yep. ONE THOUSAND. All I'll tell you about how I managed that was that it had a lot to do with bottles of Cristal. Because of that weekend, I spent the following two weeks living off of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, in order to get through the rest of the month and make up for my idiocy.
So yes, I could maybe watch my spending a little more, but the way I see it is this: What the fuck do I need to buy in the future that is so important that I can't buy a round of beers for all of my buddies?
In the end, I suppose it's all about moderation. Most people, when it comes to money, need to loosen up. And people like me, who could care less about their paycheck, should tighten up.
At the end of the Grey's Anatomy, last Thursday night, right after Izzy pulled herself off of the floor and the music started playing, the show ended and commercials began. Jenny and I thanked Tabatha for having us over, then headed towards the door. I thought about giving Tabatha a few bucks for all the beer and salsa and chips she provided us, but then decided not to.
Jenny then took me home, and before she dropped me off at my apartment, I said, "Hey Jen, next time let me drive. You've been driving us everywhere lately and I don't want to mooch off of you and your gas money."
And Jenny replied, "Oh whatever Pete, it's fine. What's a couple dollars when it comes to friends?"
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7 Comments
Baseball TOnight was cool until they got rid of Harold Reynolds.
Xanax.
Sounds like a z, but isn't.
Her friend shouldn't be proud to take xanax... it's addictive and not something to brag about. I have taken it in the past, and I still take it occasionally (as infrequently as possible). The last thing I need is an addiction to add on TOP of my list of problems.
Money is the least of my worries, although it *IS* on the list. But like you, I know that my money concerns will eventually work themselves out because I won't allow them to get out of hand.
As long as your bills are being paid, and you're taking care of your responsibilities, I agree -- money should not walk all over our daily thoughts.
Leading a low-stress, productive and happy life, with as little need as possible for drugs to make me feel "normal" is something I think about frequently. Especially after having events in my life occur that caused me to literally break down and NEED them to function. I am ashamed that I have had to take xanax. I cannot fathom telling others how great it is and practically encouraging them to take it if they're worried about money.
Forgive me, but your friend's friend, IMO, needs to get a fucking life and straighten out her priorities. She is taking an addictive medication that can create a WHOLE NEW batch of worries that (to the best of our knowledge) in her mind appears to be about money... and to be honest, if she's taking Xanax over financial concerns in her 20s - I don't think her problems actually have anything to do with money.
I ain't mad or nuthin, but this is a touchy topic and even though I don't know this person Tabitha speaks of, it doesn't sound like she's creating a good path for herself.
And the best show on TV this season is football. :)
'Us yuppies don't know it, but as long as we follow the track, we're all set for life.'
I dont know about set for life...Life is hard work, it's a series of disappointments and struggles, one after another, and money is the root of all of this. You make it seem like we will always have "enough" money, but the truth is, we don't. Not even close. The reason people stress over money so much is because its so vital for getting by in this world...who wants to end up becomming a homeless bum? Ask any homeless man what went wrong, or any lotto winner why they went bankrupt, and its all because of the same reason...they were careless. Life isn't a joke, as much as you would like to stroll through your years getting into adventure, 99% of us dont have that luxury...unless your name is Paris Hilton.
I think Lee and Randi made a lot of good points but heres a few more.
First don’t mess with a girl who is on a drug she can’t pronounce or spell.
This is really ironic that you have a blog about money today, I think your ears must have been ringing this weekend.
I think your point about how you've grown up in a family that has been pretty well off is the reason you think money is basically 'no object'. Money shouldn't run peoples life no, however surviving is one thing, having enough to enjoy yourself is sometimes harder.
You've always been a non-materialistic person, not a bad thing. This, I understand, is the way you were raised. Caring more about others than yourself, caring about your wife and kids more than yourself, all things you were raised with. This along with having enough money yourself to spoil your friends, is where I think you get your idea of money.
--So yes, I could maybe watch my spending a little more, but the way I see it is this: What the fuck do I need to buy in the future that is so important that I can't buy a round of beers for all of my buddies?--
Well yes, the 20 bucks you spend that night isn’t going to buy you a house. But yes, saving money for a house is about the best investment I think you can make (as I've probably said to you way to many times). So nothing wrong with having fun with your money, however spending all your left over paycheck every week isn’t a very smart plan either.
I really think if you talked to one of those guys I saw this weekend laying in the subway in Manhattan in the same clothes they’ve had on for weeks about if they are stressed about money the general response you’d get is yes, they worry about money, and everything materialistic.
I think in this society we depend on some pill to handle all our problems. Weather it be having to take a pill to be ‘normal’ or because they have some other minor pain or personal problems.
Just one final question for you though, you say that money has never really motivated you, nor something you really think about. What motivated you to get a double major, CS and math, and then go for actuary science in grad school?
One thing I hoped to make clear in my post was that I wasn't referring to people who can't make ends meet, and I wasn't singling out people who are stingy.
What I blogged about was the fact that financially stable people still worry about money more than they should.
Get this: I read in a WSJ article a couple weeks ago that 25% percent of people with incomes of $30,000 or less said they are "very happy", and that 50% of people with incomes of $150,000 or more are "very happy".
My reaction was, What gives? Only 50%? What could you possibly worry about at that salary?
The fact is, no matter how much you make, you want more, you think about it, you stress about it, you obsess over it... and then your life passes you by.
As that song that the Notorious B.I.G. featuring Puff Daddy and Mase goes:
"I dont know what, they want from me
Its like the more money we come across
The more problems we see."
I just realized I didn't answer your last question, Phil, so here goes...
I chose CS and math as my undergraduate majors and eventually did actuarial science for grad school simply because that's where my talents led me. I happen to be a pretty good critical thinker, I'm organized, and like all Asians I excel at math... so that's why I am where I am today, career-wise. It had nothing to do with the money, believe it or not.
As you remember, when I was in undergrad, my dad was against me becoming a computer programmer because he felt there wasn't enough prestige in that field -- he pleaded with me repeatedly to become a doctor. It wasn't until I told him I was going to be an actuary that he got off my case; this is because he knew I would make a lot of money. And that's exactly how I sold this profession to him: "Hey Dad, I'm going to be making six-figures in a few years... is this job okay?"
But other than that, I've never cared or thought about how much I make or will make. Honestly, I dislike having conversations about it too.
I still want to become a writer one day, and if I make less or more than what I make now, I could care less.
Yea understood.
My basic point throughout that whole thing is an individual will have a total different view of money depending on if they were raised in a well off/comfortable/rich family versus a poor/barely making the bills/not well off family.
People who are finacially stable should still worry, because in todays society you can lose all you own in a day. A sue happy society.