Another reason why I'm a jerk

This morning at the train station, with a five dollar bill in hand, I ran towards a volunteer for the Salvation Army who was collecting donations into an empty plastic milk jug. The volunteer was an old lady with the biggest heart in the city, and she smiled at my enthusiasm as I approached.

"Got change for a five?" I asked. "Hurry. Five singles. Now. Hurry up. I'm late for work. I've got to pay for my daily train stop parking before the 7:52 gets here. Hurry. Five ones. Into my hand. Now."