Nothing to say
More than a lot of things, I hate talking casually on the phone. It forces me to drop whatever I’m currently doing and pay my complete attention to the person on the other line, which is complete hell for me because of my extremely short attention span. My ADD is so bad, I usually listen to songs on my Winamp player for no longer than a half minute, by clicking on the fast forward button to get to only the good parts. In fact, I’ve learned that you can turn an epic like Bohemian Rhapsody into a quick 20 second song if you jump all the way to the climactic fourth verse and skip through all of the guitar solo bullshit. (By the way, I just learned this morning that scaramouch means “a stock character who appears as a boastful coward.” Learn something new every day.)
To me, the phone is only great for when your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere, or for calling a friend you’re visiting to let him/her know that you’ve just made your exit and you’ll be at his/her house in ten minutes. You know, quick 30 second exchanges — not the hour-long conversations that some people like to get into. For that sort of thing, the best way to casually talk to me is on AIM. On there, I can at least multi-task by studying or eating dinner or doing my laundry, and still have conversations with several people at once.
My buddy Dave, however, is very anti-AIM and prefers talking on the phone. Which is fine and understandable to me if you’re the type that doesn’t want to spend hours of your day typing away at your computer, but... oh my goodness, Dave is one of the worst phone conversationalists I have ever known. I love the guy — he’s one of my best friends — but the dude will call me with NOTHING TO SAY. Seriously. He calls with no topic on mind, no news to tell me, NOTHING. He just... calls! It’s as if he just wants to ring me up so that I can hear dead air on the other line 90% of the time.
A couple hours ago, my cell phone rang and I saw that it was Dave. I sighed in dread, then answered the phone...
ME: Sup, man.
DAVE: Sup.
ME: No man, I asked you first. Come on now, bro, you can’t answer a sup with a sup! What’s goin’ on?
DAVE: Not much...
ME: Oh yeah?
DAVE: Yeah.
ME: Alright, well...?
DAVE: Sup.
ME: Not too much, I’m home from class. Just chillin’ here right now, waiting for my spaghetti noodles to boil... What about you, what’re you up to?
(I’m wishing that Dave was a Winamp player and that I could just fast forward him to all of the good parts of this conversation, if any.)
DAVE: I’m driving home from work right now.
ME: Oh yeah? And how’s traffic? You close to home yet?
DAVE: Not yet. I just left work.
ME: Cool, cool. Yeah, that’s right, it’s just a little after 4:30. So what else is happenin’, dude?
DAVE: Not much.
(I IM our friend Julie, who knows how much trouble I hate talking to Dave on the phone, and write “dave’s on the phone with me right now” and she writes back, “haha have fun with that”.)
ME: That’s cool, man. Any reason you’re calling? Anything cool happen today?
DAVE: I’m just driving... And I’m bored.
ME: Oh yeah?
DAVE: Yes.
ME: Yeah?
DAVE: Yes.
ME: ...
DAVE: ...
ME: So what else is new with you?
(I IM Julie again, saying “omg someone shoot me, hes not saying anythinggggggg” and Julie replies, “lol”.)
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12 Comments
haha...
im anti phone as well. You know me, drive slow homey. I hold the record for most one minute phone calls in a month
Awesome post. I could relate, I hate using my phone, I'm just never comfortable holding it to my ear and talking for long periods of time about nothing.
It's funny you wrote this because I was just talking about how I plan to call you tomorrow to catch up on things. Then I check your site and... I guess I got your feelings about talking on the phone. Grad school must be killer. I'll have to find a way of downloading AIM again.
"... she's face-to-face, I like talking on the cell..." :P
I think we can make an exception for you, May. :P
Fastforward through all the "guitar solo bullshit." Blasphemous. How the hell else are you gonna headbang to the song if you don't listen to the solo?
Yes, I think that I and any other actual musician would agree with Tasha. The song is a rock masterpiece of sorts, and needs the solo as a means of continuity and to show that Brian May can shred!
Good thing I'm always awesome to talk on the phone with!!!!
I think thats why texting was inventing on cellphones. For people who are addicted to instant messages.
Amen Stewart.
I can relate. I don't mind talking on the phone, but I get major annoyed when people call me and expect ME to carry 100% of the conversation.
My boyfriend does it maybe a few times a week, and I've gotten to where I have a standard response when the other end goes silent: is this a courtesy 'I love you' call? :~P It's gay, but it gets to the bottom line. If he says yes, then I know he has nothing to tell me. If he says anything other than yes, I know he had a purpose, and he usually starts in with whatever his purpose was after I ask that.
You should try that with Dave. :~P lol.
Just saying hi Pete since I'm never on AIM! Hope grad school isn't killing you. I'll actually be going to school this fall in Chicago, so if you're ever in the city partying give me a ring! :o)
Hey Jenny, great to hear from you! I was going to continue our email correspondence but got too lazy to keep it up. Are you planning on going for your MBA? What school?
I'll see you this summer though, because I definitely plan on partying it up in Chicago on weekends. Email me your phone number (not like I'm ever going to actually call you, but just in case I'll need to get a hold of ya!).