Hands on the hips
For the longest time when I was a kid, I didn’t know how to make a fist. This infuriated my uncle, who was an army guy and wanted his favorite nephew to know how to fight.
“No no,” he would say. “You’re doing it all wrong again. Quit tucking your thumb inside your fist. Be a man. The thumb goes outside.”
Now I know the frustration that white people feel when they try in vain to hold chopsticks, because I seemingly was incapable of doing such a simple thing as correctly making a fist. Making a fist just felt so unnatural to me, and because of that I spent my entire childhood trying to prove to my uber-macho uncle that I wasn’t a pansy.
My sister Lynn has this running joke where she calls me a faggot, particularly because of how un-macho I am. And it’s true. I cried at the end of The Notebook. I enjoy getting pedicures. I smack spiders with rolled up newspapers and then run for my life to the other side of the room when they don’t die. I sometimes cross my legs like a girl when I’m sitting down and outside of the public eye, because it’s so much easier than sitting down guy-style.
As un-macho as I am though, the only thing homo about me is my genus. Trust me when I say that I love women and all that they represent. I like boobs. I like legs. And I like boobs.
Still, Lynn presents some pretty damning evidence of me as a fruit, in my childhood. Click on this link, it’s hilarious: is he gay?
And all I can say is, yeah, those pictures of me look PRETTY BAD, especially the one of me and the balloon... but hey, all boys don’t know any better and act like complete flamers before being taught what the proper behavior is for men. At least, that’s what I hope.
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15 Comments
That was pretty hilarious and gay.
Fan of Liberace when you were a kid, Pete? I bet even he would've told you to tone it down cause no one's suppossed to be that gay.
That is awful, the balloon one is unfortunate to say the least.
If you make the fist with the thumb on the inside break your thumb if punch something. Although, after looking at those photos, Im not sure what kind of fisting you had in mind Pete.
^____^
Best laughs I've had in while, thanks Pete and Lynn
very nice pete...were all of those pictures actually of you?
Of course all those pictures were of me. I could only wish that the fruitiness was all photoshopped.
In that case, I'm wondering how you ended up in a dress, with a flower in your hair. Also, what's the story behind the "Queen" sign?
For the "dress" picture, my aunts were evil and dressed me up like that and put on makeup, all while laughing in amusement. I was only 3 when this happened and didn't know how to scream for help yet.
The "Queen" sign actually said "Queen Bee". I went to Queen Bee Elementary School and had to wear that sign for a school production.
Wow! Your face looks exactly the same now as it did when you were a boy.
remember when you told mom you were gay and for a split second, the look of anxiety on her face proved that she actually believed you. haha :D
laugh out loud hilarious!!!!!
whats your penis size, bro?
haha jk this is sooo gay!
or is it......
thanks for another laugh out funny post
thumb outside is ok. some martial arts make use of thumb holds to bring you down, so don't keep you thumb too "open" :)
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