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Below Freezing

I’ve been taking advantage of the recent cold weather by leaving the windows of my apartment wide open and spoiling my computer’s CPU with a paradise of an environment. People think I’m insane, but really I just want to get the most bang for my MHz buck out of my ancient Compaq Presario — a computer which is now pushing six years old.

Let me ask you hardware geeks out there a question: the cooler a CPU runs, the faster its operating speed, correct? So if the room temperature in here is like 20 °F then my Compaq essentially becomes one of those Power Mac G5’s, right? That had BETTER be right, because if I’ve been cruelly misinformed, then all that sleeping in my winter coat for the past week and a half has been in vain.

Sigh. The things we do out of love for our computers.

Right now, at 2 o’clock in the morning, my Weatherbug says it’s -1 °F outside. It’s cold in here. Very cold. I just yawned, and I could see my breath. It’s very cold.

It’s so cold in here, my penis looks like a belly button right now.

I’m planning on sleeping with wool gloves and a scarf tonight, and I’m going to also have to pull on my sweatshirt’s hood strings extra tight so that my hood snugly covers my head, for sufficient insulation. And obviously, my winter coat won’t be forgotten. It’s too bad I don’t have a ski mask or ear muffs.

Off to bed I go. Hopefully I can make it through the night without dying or anything.

You’re welcome, Mr. Compaq Presario.

Wednesday, December 7, 2005

30 Comments

#1 Alan

Wear tights/stockings. They're extra warm under pants. As a cross dresser I should know. *nod*

December 7, 2005 03:05 AM
#2 Dann

Get an electric blanket. You can have the best of both worlds.

December 7, 2005 07:26 AM
#3 John

You need to overclock your CPU. Just freezing the thing isn't gonna help unless it's running at a faster clock speed.

December 7, 2005 10:17 AM
#4 Natasha

You may freeze to deaht, but at least your computer will outlive you right?

December 7, 2005 11:20 AM
#5 Natasha

In some countries, deaht is the same as death

December 7, 2005 11:20 AM
#6 Stacy

I don't know if you're kidding or not when you ask "the cooler a CPU runs, the faster its operating speed, correct?" but my boyfriend says NO.

He says, "It means that you can make it go faster, but the cooler a cpu is.. the more stable it will be at higher speeds."

Hope that helps :)

December 7, 2005 11:59 AM
#7 Pete

Yeah, I honestly thought freezing it would help some, although I began to have serious doubts when it would still take MS Word two minutes to load up.

So you gotta overclock it. I gotcha. Boy do I feel dumb.

But not as dumb as I would have felt a couple years back when I used to have a mini-fridge and stuck my entire computer tower in there.

December 7, 2005 01:18 PM
#8 Stewart

If by 'become one of those Power Mac G5's', you mean that your Compaq will turn into an over-hyped, faggot of a computer, that sports the badge of a company that traded its nerd roots for the approval of a New York Times minded audience years ago...then no to that also ;)

December 7, 2005 02:19 PM
#9 Pete

Haha, those Mac people ARE funny though.

Ask a Mac user why their mouse has no right click button and you'll probably get some convoluted explanation that ends with, "Well, um, well, it’s just better, OK?!"

December 7, 2005 02:42 PM
#10 Shaunna

LOL at the penis = bellybutton joke. I hope the very best for your computer but just don't catch a cold!

December 7, 2005 03:33 PM
#11 Stewart


"The mouse only has one button because... Apple doesnt have to conform!" (Also doesnt conform by not running most of the software you would like it to either)

Apple has made you think that buying their product is rebelling. One billion dollar corporation chosen over a slightly bigger one, im glad you feel that you made the 'informed' choice.

The only next step with this logic is: "I had to buy a Mac...because...Bush lied!!"

December 7, 2005 03:35 PM
#12 Arvind

"Think different."

December 7, 2005 03:48 PM
#13 Alan

I use a Mac because it looks prettier and doesn't crash every fifteen minutes like my old PC did. I'm fonder of the GUI and the fact that, at this moment, I need no spyware or virus apps at all, appeals as well. The one button mouse isn't too hard to deal with, and Apple package two button mice now anyway. lol

It's a matter of prefernce, no need to be a dick. :P

December 7, 2005 05:05 PM
#14 Julie

Oh Pete sometimes you can be the most intelligent guy I know, other times you can be the dumbest guy I know.

December 7, 2005 05:32 PM
#15 Mark

I own a mac :(

December 7, 2005 05:40 PM
#16 PhotoFill

Alan is right on this one, no virus crap needed. Mac is superior in certain application, others its not. If you are a graphic designer or a video editor, you probably have a mac. if you are a video game nerd, you probably have a pc. if you have a computer so you can type in your blog every day, you probably have a 5 year old compaq pos. ;) if you dont know what to do with a computer, you probably have a pc.

essentially yes, its a matter of preference, however some bigger programs for video and ad design, etc, only support mac. i also heard that dreamworks (makers of shrek) used purely mac systems for their animation.

as for me, pc desktop, pc laptop, and mac G4 for wedding video editing and ad design, all at my desk.

December 7, 2005 05:43 PM
#17 PhotoFill

oh, yes... pete, john is right, if you are not overclocking, it doesnt really affect much keeping your cpu cooler. as it was when you were living here pete, the best bet for you to make your computer run faster is to throw it out the window, at least it will run fast for a few seconds;)

that thing was such a pos 2 years ago when i lived with you, i dunno why u still have it.

December 7, 2005 05:46 PM
#18 Stewart

it looks prettier? does you model its case on a runway?

for ANY computer that crashes every 15 min, the issue is not the OS, its something a user did.

and dude, i understand preferences, i was commenting on the kind of people that are convinced that their apple can do things a PC cannot. its quite the opposite

December 7, 2005 05:55 PM
#19 Stewart

dreamworks!?! are you serious? saying you would use a mac because the fucking dreamworks studio made shrek on them, is like saying you want a monte carlo cause they race in nascar and you think its fast. Those cars have about 2% in common with the 'same' one you would buy at the yee-haw chevy dealer, and the same goes for the uber customized computers that dreamworks uses.

December 7, 2005 06:02 PM
#20 PhotoFill

ha gees, settle down man, i know. they have computers that are $50k a piece, mine isnt close.

my point is mac is used for higher end video/animation/publication stuff. i did not 'buy a mac cuz dreamworks uses them' shit man stop ur pc obsessiveness.

December 7, 2005 06:07 PM
#21 Stewart

Pete: exactly how badass are you?

VOLVO: im just saying im not going to sit here and let somebody come across that they are more knowledgeable about this crap

Pete: ouch phil is pissed

VOLVO: yeah man, thats the point right there. theres an argument to be made
that they do video/animation better better
VOLVO: does he work for an animation studio?

Pete: no hes graduating in engineering this winter

VOLVO: then hes not doing anything professional in his damn house anyways!! so dont tell me that he even knows how superior they even are
VOLVO: you can do anything most mac users do on a PC

Pete: its all about marketing as you said before

VOLVO: and no offense...im not taking any shit from ANYONE in MechE (esp. from NIU :-P )

Pete: haha, how'd you know he was m.e.

VOLVO: his web page
VOLVO: he takes great pics, dont get me wrong

Pete: its his mom...she made him a mac defender trained him from his youth

VOLVO: this discussion is about 4% technical. I usually dont even bother here, it needs to be about 50% for me to even want to get into it
VOLVO: i dont even know what im arguing about anymore?...if anyone wants to talk tech about this(no one here is qualified) then lets go. Otherwise, its all just opinions ;)

December 7, 2005 06:38 PM
#22 Shannon

*cough*itsminus10fahrenheitherethankyouverymuch*cough*

December 7, 2005 06:42 PM
#23 PhotoFill

Alan stated it rather simply: you dont have to be a dick about it.

and exactly what 'shit' did i give you? other than stating i use my mac for wedding video? what do you thats so technical that you think your some smart ass?

i see you just want to stab at people, "he must be a fucking dumbass, he graduated as an ME not nothing mac related, and from NIU?!? what a ignorant fuck"

December 7, 2005 08:24 PM
#24 Alan

Stewart: When you were using a biege box for 6 years, having something pretty to look at is a change. Though, as of right now, it can hardly be called pretty. I've never, *never* kept it clean after opening the box. 'Cept the screen of course, heh.

Said beige box was attempting to run software miles out of its range, too, so that's why it crashed so often (obviously I was exagerating, lol). It couldn't be upgraded anymore without a new case, processor and motherboard, so I just said fuck it and got a whole new comp. lol

December 7, 2005 08:35 PM
#25 PhotoFill

no i wasnt pissed like pete stated, i just didnt see why there was a need to stab at people, weather it be 'jokingly' or not.

Pete M Nguyen : i just told him you were pissed
XxPUPxx : ha i'm not pissed
XxPUPxx : i think hes being a dick, thats about it
XxPUPxx : like alan said

December 7, 2005 09:07 PM
#26 John

WTF, is it 1995? This Mac vs PC debate is old people... We all know Linux is the shit no matter what hardware you run it on. Spread the love y'all.

December 7, 2005 11:20 PM
#27 Nic

Got to love belly button penises..

December 8, 2005 01:25 AM
#28 Pete

And now for my next topic...

Which was better: SNES or Sega Genesis? Gameboy or GameGear?

Phil? Stewart? Your thoughts?

Just kidding.

December 8, 2005 02:04 AM
#29 Larry

Wow there were way too many posts on this topic so I knew it had to be some nerdy argument. I love nerd wars.

December 8, 2005 03:04 PM
#30 Stacy

SNES, duh.

December 8, 2005 10:16 PM