Step One in my bid for world domination

I’m a huge fan of Defective Yeti so today I emailed Matthew Baldwin (the site's creator) to ask if he was interested in doing a blogroll link exchange. Defective Yeti ranks up there as one of the best humor blogs on the Internet, so it immediately occurred to me that I would have to be as edgy as possible to get his attention.

So I wrote this in my email:

Mr. Yeti, sir, I was wondering if you’d like to do a link exchange with me. My name is Pete and I have a blog at www.ill-noise.com. I am 8 years old and attend St. Claire Elementary school. I’m a child blogging prodigy. I would be honored if you put me under the “Sites I frequent” section, but if you stuck me under “Friends & Family” I would probably achieve my first-ever orgasm. Also, if you could refer to me on your site as a nickname -- kind of like how you call your wife The Queen and your son The Squirrelly -- I would be eternally grateful. You could call me The Pete. One more thing. If you could blog about this odd email and then archive it in your “Favorite Posts” section I would achieve the blogging immortality that I long for.

Thanks in advance,
The Pete

P.S. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!

After Mr. Baldwin agrees to my requests, I’m going to go after the legendary Jason Kottke. And if he says no, I’m just going to pester him constantly until he falls into submission. I mean, it worked for David Letterman in his quest for making Oprah a guest on his show, didn’t it? Dreams CAN come true, if you put your mind to it.

I just really need the street cred. What would people think of me if my blogroll was full of Xanga pages?

And who knows, maybe someday Heather B. Armstrong will link me. Yes, I know, I know that sounds like such a pipe dream right now, but in a year or two she may not be so out-of-my-league.