A lot more fun than simply "selling our souls"
Last night after returning home from Murphy’s, slightly buzzed from all of the $1 pints I devoured while watching the Illinois/UNC rematch, I (as always) got into a drunken “what if?” sports conversation with my buddy Frank over IM:
Pete M Nguyen: yo would you murder someone if thats what it took for karl malone to come out of retirement to join the bulls and win the nba title
Pete M Nguyen: he would avg 25 10 and 5 AND be mvp too
Mailman724: hmm....maybe id pull the plug on someone in a vegetable state
Pete M Nguyen: me, for the cubs to win the world series, i would definitely kill... honestly i would slit someones throat in their sleep for it to happen
Mailman724: what if there was a chance youd get caught
Pete M Nguyen: thatd be scary, but id make sure to not get caught
Pete M Nguyen: wipe fingerprints off the knife, etc
Mailman724: i do like your proposal though for malone...very interesting
Mailman724: maybe id kill someone whos already going ot die
Pete M Nguyen: no, i have to pick the person
Mailman724: a perfectly healthy person?
Pete M Nguyen: ...and that person is stewart
Mailman724: lol
Mailman724: your awful
Pete M Nguyen: could you do it
Mailman724: i wouldnt
Pete M Nguyen: wtf man, ITS JUST STEWART
Pete M Nguyen: his white-boy soul patch is just asking for it
Mailman724: would you kill stewie for cubbie happiness
Pete M Nguyen: YES, i would chop his balls into bits and tell people it's leftover thanksgiving giblets while eating them
Pete M Nguyen: i would cut his nipples off with scissors
Pete M Nguyen: i would stick a finger up one of his nostrils and make it come out the other, blood spewing out, my index winger wiggling free
Mailman724: oh pete
Pete M Nguyen: i would take a thin sheet of xerox paper and give his eyeball a papercut or two
Mailman724: you know....this isnt required for a cub championship, just a simple murder =)
Pete M Nguyen: oh
Mailman724: pillow over the face, something to that extent
Pete M Nguyen: THE PILLOW OVER THE FACE TRICK ONLY WORKS FOR OLD PEOPLE YOU DIMWIT!
Mailman724: not if you slip him sleeping pills!
Mailman724: cmon pete, you should know these things
Pete M Nguyen: oh
Mailman724: us sick minds need to stick together
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8 Comments
I totally thought you were going to put my comments about having my way with a homeless man, against his will. Good convo though Pete, come home drunk more often so we can have nice fireside chats.
"Mailman724: oh pete"
oh frank. oh dear. oh you're so not gay.
(we've sang kelly clarkson and rapped biggy together, so i think we've reached the level where i can start making fun of u now :D)
Frank, I thought about adding in the part in the conversation about you raping a homeless man but the censors threatened to stamp the dreaded "NC-17" on that blog entry.
So I omitted that part in favor of retaining my solid "R".
I think in another life you may have been a medieval torture guard.
you have such a sadistic edge to you!
"No Kiddo, at this moment, this is me at my most masochistic."
For a whole new level of sadism, I would blast Celine Dion in the background as I commit the above heinous acts. I would of course wear earplugs (p.s. I'm at work...and I'm not really sure if this is acceptable internet use, but owell. I like to live on the edge)
I love Celine Dion!
I remember rapping Biggie with you, but Kelly Clarkson escapes me...however i do not doubt what you say at all, its very possible.
The homeless man comments i made...were so very wrong, yet oh so right. I had to sell my soul to the devil for that white sox championship...