Speed
Today was my court date for a speeding ticket I received earlier this summer on a night that will live in personal infamy. I've done a lot of stupid stupid STUPID things in my life, but speeding at 102 miles per hour with at least four beers, a glass of wine, and a couple shots of tequila in my system easily tops the List of Stupid Stupid STUPID Things Pete Has Done.
It was my very first time in a courtroom, and everything was a lot more informal than I expected. I was dressed in the same suit that I plan on wearing on my wedding day, while everyone else in the courtroom was wearing t-shirts. I also fully thought that the judge would be in a white wig, pounding a gavel away, demanding ORDER IN THE COURT, ORDER IN THE COURT! Instead, the court was ordered more like a fast food drive-thru.
To say the least, I was really nervous. Driving in excess of forty miles over the speed limit, which is what I was charged with, is punishable by a fine of up to $2,500 and a year in prison. While I was waiting for my name to be called, my sister who decided to tag along leaned over and asked me if I thought I had enough money in my checking account to pay a big fine.
"Probably not," I replied.
"Then you better charm the hell out of the judge," she told me.
Charm is my middle name.
My name was finally called and for the first time in my life I was thankful for my last name, because it took off a lot of tension when the judge and I shared a good laugh after I was trying to explain to him how to pronounce "Nguyen".
"So... It's 'Ngwin'?" the judge asked, clearly intrigued.
"Kind of. Just stick with 'Win'. That's easier to pronounce. 'Win'. As in, you know, I'm going to 'Win' this case."
I glanced over to the corner of the courtroom, at the officer who issued my ticket, and he seemed to remember me because he nodded. He must have been thinking about how he SHOULD have nailed me for a DUI that night, but didn't because I joked that I could handle a field sobriety test, but NOT the Breathalyzer, because it would give me an asthma attack. It also helped that I was sobbing like a baby the whole time that night. Nice cop that guy was, to spare me of the DUI that I deserved.
After I pleaded guilty, the judge gave me the same speech that every single one of my friends have given me after finding out what I did, the speech about how I was insane and possibly mentally retarded and could have killed somebody or myself, and if I ever did something like that ever again he would personally slap me in the face. He then said, "Before I give you your penalty, tell me why on earth were you driving home at over 100 miles per hour at one o'clock in the morning?"
I thought about how Charm is my middle name and said, "Because, I... I really really really really really REALLY had to go pee."
Someone from behind me should have yelled, "OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR!" and the judge should have said: "Objection sustained. Are you trying to make a mockery of my court, Mr. Nguyen?" But what happened instead was the judge laughed.
I guess charm goes a long way. The fine was $500, with court supervision.
RSS
21 Comments
I forgot to lecture you, Pete. Glad to hear we won't get Ill-noise: Jail-style, though. Did you wink when you said "as in 'win' this case"?
102!?!? I can't believe the cop didn't give you a dui if he even suspected it! Drive safe from now on!
BAD PETE! I'm sure you've learned your lesson now. Charm doesn't go THAT long a way for you because $500 still seems a little steep doesn't it?
Geez, you lucky. I thought going to traffic school was bad (and almost fatally boring). You should have seen everyone peel rubber to get out of the lot after it was over, though.
I once went to court on a "failure to yield" ticket and got out of paying the fine because the "sherrif's police" cop forgot to file some form or other. Thus, the case was thrown out. Like you, I was surprised that most people were so casually dressed. I guess that marks us out as n00bs or something.
The ever charming Pete Nguyen, in his wedding suit, winking at the judge and using witty one-liners.
And getting away with it. That image will be forever burned into my mind. Aside from all the little details like what people looked like.
Fine, the scenario. Yeah. That's it.
yea, that phone call that night when you called me and said "yo phil, what a crazy night at mays wedding, and im driving home drunk! ... but i know i'll be OK if i keep my hands at 10 and 2. well phil talk to you later" i actaully had to ask your sister if you were still alive, cuz you were back in london at that point. stupid, very very stupid. i hope pete wont add anything to his "List of Stupid Stupid STUPID Things Pete Has Done"
Long time reader, first time poster here. You sure do sound like a very charming guy ;)
Now, as great a writer as you are (and you are very talented I must add), what you did that night was very DUMB.
Drive SLOW, Pete! We want to be able to read your blog for a very, very long time!
Honestly, I think they should raise the speed limit on I-88 to 100mph. Well, at least between Aurora and DeKalb. I mean, come on, who isn't doing at least 90 on that stretch late at night (that's where you got pulled over, right?) Most boring 45 miles of highway ever... Well glad you got off easy this time. At least until (if) you get your insurance bill.
John, there's a possibility that my insurance rates will not skyrocket because I received court supervision, meaning that it's off my public driving record. This isn't guaranteed however, because my citation will still be reported to the Illinois Secretary of State. It will just be reported that I received court supervision as opposed to a conviction. I'm not sure how it all works out exactly, but we will see what my next insurance bill says.
Its a good thing you didnt get jail time ... they use pretty boys like you as currency in there ;).
Wow 102. I thought that they put you under the jail for stuff like that.
You're right...STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!!! Tell me this is the one and only time you will be doing this, and it was a HUGE mistake. Never, ever drive after drinking. I care too much for you Pete, don't ever do this again! ('Mom' moment over--but I mean it!)
You can be rest assured that it will never happen again. I've learned my lesson. And don't apologize for being too motherly, Sharon!
Check out Reid's journal from a few weeks ago:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/reid_bad/22816.html
I really hope I can reach the point where I know that when I say 'no', I mean 'no'. And I hope you do, too, but try your best to remember this post when you go out. If nothing else, it'll reduce your mistakes, if not eliminate them.
Dude i remember talking to your ass that night when you first started the trip. I thought about what you did on my bday night - driving home going 105 the whole trip in the rain, drunk, with people in the car. After that realization, I knew i should have called you back and warned you. Oh well it happened. I might be pretty ill-minded when it comes to the road. I might tend think of the road as a race track. I might also tend to be the fastest car on the road at any given time. I might get offended when people pass me. I might visualize my 91 corsica being a race car. I admit I'm not a perfect driver but coming from me - you gotta chill out you friggin disaster. If you drink, you should drive slower than your grandpa would.
better yet, if you drink dont drive. That site with the burn victim girl still disturbs me, even after seeing it several times. Its sad, take it easy out there Pete, we all need your blogging to keep us going!
Wow, I forgot about that, Dave. Now THAT'S another night I don't want to think about. I wasn't drunk that night though -- although VERY tired.
Maybe I should just use public transportation from now on. You're right dude, I am a friggin' disaster.
Pete hunnie you have to be more careful and smarter about these things. I'm only saying this cause I love you as a friend but maybe you really should have got a DUI or maybe a bigger fine...the judge only fined you $500 for speeding not for drunk driving cause you got away with it (somehow)...
I know you like to add levity to situations but you can't be a jokester for every single thing in life Pete, this is a serious issue...
Again I'm only saying this cause you are my friend...You are a great guy and the earth can't lose someone like you!
I remember hearing that story. Dave called me up all worried telling me what you did! BAD PETE! Although I never got the chance to witness your driving, I do remember the nice way you parked your car one night when you lived with Dave and Phil, and since you like to lay in the middle of the street when you are drunk at times as well, I'd hate to see you drive when your drunk! DISASTER! Your punk ass is lucky!!
By the way...I miss you!!!
Everyone's telling you to be careful...but there's kind of a bright side if you keep on being reckless. A lot of artists don't get famous until they...you know...go beddy-bye for good. Your blogs would become world famous, and then stuff that you made, touched, or breathed on would sell like Elvis memorabilia. Lots of profit for your friends and family.
Just a thought. But then I also thought Britney Spears would be a two month long flash in the pan. So what do i know?
Judging from the reception my last few blog entries have gotten, I don't think it's even necessary for me to garner posthumous fame. Dude, people LOVE me!