Gone, For Good

Last night, before I took my very first actuary exam, I threw up.

People are always surprised when they find out how nervous I get before tests because I seem so laid back. But no, in the heart of this easy-going exterior is a total spaz. I can drive people insane with my nonstop pacing during test day, and sometimes I worry so much that I won't be able to sleep at all the night before.

That was the case yesterday, where I came into the test room exhausted from sleep deprivation and over-studying. And then when the tests were being passed out I thought about how important the test was going to be for my career and how I didn't prepare as perfectly as I should have and how I was doomed to get raped by the dumb test and how a couple hours earlier I ate extra spicy fried rice with slightly uncooked shrimp.

And then I ran into the bathroom and then, burp, burp, blarrrrrrgghsdsadhjh... I puked red and brown looking stuff all over the bathroom floor. Acidic, slimy bits of half-digested rice, pork, and shrimp. Manuel the Janitor, dude, I'm sorry.

A tear rolled down my cheek as I coughed out some more puke, and I said, "Shit". I stared at the what I just did in utter disgust and said: "Aw, jeez."

But you know how you always feel 100 times better after throwing up, how you almost feel a dizzying wave of relief and confidence? Well, I felt that. All it took was a wipe of the chin and a short walk back into the test room for me to ace that thing.

I destroyed, conquered, MURDERED that test.

It was a great feeling, the last great feeling I'll ever have at NIU.

When I was a freshman, my intention was to graduate in three years with a computer science degree. Somehow, plans changed. The information technology industry declined, forcing me to prolong my college stay and supplement my computer science degree with a degree in applied mathematics. I finally graduated last fall after four and a half years of misery, but decided to come back yet another semester to take an actuary exam prep course.

For a while it seemed like I'd be stuck in Dekalb, Illinois for the rest of my life, but finally has come the day for me to say goodbye. So long, Stupid College Town Where Everyone (Including Me) Goes Home For The Weekends. See ya later, Hillcrest Road With Ridiculous Speed Bumps. Bye bye, University That Made Me Feel Screwed When I Saw College Girl's Gone Wild Videos.

What's next for me? Grad school, baby. You'll find me at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign next fall.

It's just ironic that I'm leaving a place I loathed so much that was way out in the middle of the cornfields for another place that is way out in the middle of the cornfields. But, as they say, you can take the Pete out of Dekalb, but you can't take the cornfields out of Pete. Or something like that.