Losing Your Cubs Virginity the Wrong Way

Vu's girlfriend An got her Cubs cherry popped the boring way today: the game was a 1-0 yawner of a loss to the Padres. It's a shame that her first ever Cubs game had to be like this. Jeromy Burnitz looked bad in strikeouts and even worse when he missed a fly ball. And Corey Patterson kept smirking at the middle-field bleachers instead of paying attention to the game.

I also learned how boring a baseball game can be in April when you're limiting yourself to only one cup of beer. It's sad when your greatest form of entertainment at Wrigley Field is gawking at a dude with dried blue hair gel on the back of his head.

An will have to figure out what the fuss is all about the next time she goes to a game.

On the plus side, I successfully parallel parked for the first time today! Usually when I'm forced to parallel park I'll get the car three-fourths of the way in, then I get out with the engine still running and frantically beg the person nearest by to pleeeease park my car for me.

I got sick of panicking and asking Vu to park for me every time we go to Cubs games together so last night I googled how to parallel park. And it's easy:

1. Use your turn signal to indicate the direction of the parking spot.

2. If the space is not yet vacant but the car in it is about to leave, wait behind the spot.

3. When the space is vacant, pull ahead of it until you have pulled up beside the car parked in front of the space. Your rear bumper should be even with that car's rear bumper with about 2 feet of road between you.

4. Put the car in reverse. Begin to back up slowly; as soon as the car starts moving, turn the wheel as far as it will go toward the curb.

5. Back slowly into the space.

6. When the back of your car's front door is even with the rear bumper of the car beside you, begin turning the wheel away from the curb.

7. Continue turning the wheel away from the curb and backing slowly into the space.

8. Straighten out the wheel, then pull forward or back in the space as needed to center yourself between the cars in front of and behind you. Your car should be 6 to 8 inches from the curb when you are parked.

Steps 1 through 3 are child's play, but when it comes to Steps 4 through 8, that's when I have problems. But... I somehow did it, and to be honest I'm quite proud of myself. Now all I need to do is learn how to do it in tighter parking spots, like 15 feet next time!