Fools

Last year I hid about a half dozen alarm clocks in Dave's room and set them for around 4 AM, each alarm set within a couple minutes from each other. I stayed up all night and waited until the first alarm went off. This was followed by a groan, followed by another alarm going off, followed by "...What the fuck?", followed by more alarms going off, followed by Dave going nuts and screaming, "aaaaAAAAHHH!!!"

EEE!! EEE!! EEE!! EEE!! EEE!! EEE!! EEE!! EEE!! EEE!! EEE!! EEE!! EEE!! EEE!! EEE!! EEE!! EEE!! EEE!! EEE!! That's the sound the alarm clocks made at 4 AM on April 1st, 2004.

It was a symphony of alarm clocks. My magnum opus.

I hadn't really planned anything out for this year's April Fools Day, but I wanted to keep the tradition, so I decided to prank my roommates late last night. Everyone had just gotten back from the bars and was in the kitchen eating pizza nuggets. So what I did was I slipped some of my Da Bomb hot sauce into their marinara sauce when no one was looking. This is the same secret ingredient I used for yesterday's chili.

I watched them all closely as they kept dipping their nuggets into the sauce, foreheads sweating, noses reddening. The effects of Da Bomb was definitely working. All 119,700 scoville units of it.

When they started coughing and began tugging at their shirt collars, I could take it no longer and just burst out into a hysterical laugh.

"Ha haaaa!!!" I said, pointing at them. "You've just been punk'd! I slipped hot sauce in your marinara sauce! I'm AWESOME!!!"

Let's just say they're not too happy with me. Let's just say I haven't left my room all morning, because they might hurt me.

Oh! And in other news, I got a call from Sam Raimi today and he said he loved me in my audition, and they're interested in signing me on to play Venom in Spider-man 3. I'll be starring alongside the talented Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst. This should be a pretty good experience, although I am worried about being typecast as a psychotic villain for the rest of my career.