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I love math, hee-hee honk

You know that stereotype of the number-crunching, pencil-neck Asian that excelled in complicated mathematics all his life but never had the people-skills to climb the corporate ladder? Well, it's true.

Asians are fucking geniuses when it comes to math.

You know who I'm talking about, and you probably have someone from your childhood in mind. His first name was probably Edmund or Charlie or something and his last name was always Lee. Depending on the school district, maybe the last name was Patel.

If you never knew about this phenomenon until just now and you've been skipping your 8 AM business calculus class, don't fret. On exam day, show up early, find a quiet Chinese kid, and sit next to him and copy off his paper. Don't worry, he already knows you're cheating off of him but that's okay because he wants to make a new friend. He's probably really lonely sometimes. If you're a voluptuous blonde girl, do him a favor and show a little cleavage his way while you're looking off his paper. It's the least you could do. For all their meekness, Asian dudes can be really horny creatures.

Not only will you have made his day, you've also scored 100% on the exam.

Like I said, Asians are fucking geniuses when it comes to math. And frankly, I'm one of them. I even graduated with mathematics as one of my majors.

Betcha can't recite the quadratic formula in under three seconds? I can. Betcha can't derive Chebyshev's Formula? I can. And if you put a gun to my head and asked me what the square root of 6889 was, I'd just wink at you and say: "83."

Wednesday, March 2, 2005

19 Comments

#1 Lynn

winnie cooper from wonder years likes math too. she'll tutor you math on her website

March 2, 2005 09:29 AM
#2 Lynn

but she'll do it for free. she won't ask you to show her a private part. punk!

March 2, 2005 09:32 AM
#3 Ronny

when you study at an asian school, you can't really tell that asian's are good at math, because everyone around you is good at it. :)

March 2, 2005 10:18 AM
#4 Ed

For the record, I'm not Asian (although I do know kung-fu... does that count?) and I have a MS in Applied Math. Just for fun, I like to derive the quadratic formula and/or the definition of the derivative from calculus.. I do this using my 2-year-old's crayons and when my wife comes home I say "hey- look what Zach did".

March 2, 2005 10:19 AM
#5 BMF

you can can recite the quadratic formula in 3 seconds, me (the plain white boy) takes ~5 seconds. you can't change a car battery, i can do it in ~10 min. ;)

March 2, 2005 11:20 AM
#6 Pete

Haha, Ed--that's cute.

March 2, 2005 12:53 PM
#7 Shannon

I'm jealous of you :)

March 2, 2005 03:32 PM
#8 Nic

Funny shit...."For all their meekness, Asian dudes can be really horny creatures."...that made me laugh the most, well that and, " Not only will you have made his day, you've also scored 100% on the exam." So you trying to say that you are a really horny creature?

March 2, 2005 04:17 PM
#9 Eddo

Hilarious. I love people who don't mind making fun of stereotypes that are directed at them! When you're multiracial like myself - white, black, native american - then you can ALWAYS play the race card... ALWAYS.

March 2, 2005 05:18 PM
#10 Eddo

Oh, crap, I forgot to mention that I like the top of this with your face stuck through the door... great movie, and funny how your face looks just like Jack's...

March 2, 2005 05:21 PM
#11 blue

damn kid, i'm asian, and i think you're a nerd

March 2, 2005 05:43 PM
#12 Shaunna

Nerds are sexy ;)

March 2, 2005 06:26 PM
#13 Shaunna

Nerds are sexy ;)

March 2, 2005 06:26 PM
#14 Meredith

Very entertaining website. You have a very colorful personality it looks like. I think its great that you can poke fun at yourself so freely. Can't wait for your next post!
Meredith

March 2, 2005 07:29 PM
#15 Nic

what exactly is that a mathematical proof of? can you translate it in lay-man's terms for all of us non-geek peopel?

March 2, 2005 08:09 PM
#16 Krissy

Just for the record this "voluptuous blonde girl" can get 100% all by herself. I may be a bit ditzy, but I'm not dumb.

March 2, 2005 10:26 PM
#17 Pete

Krissy--blonde, sure, but who said anything about you being voluptuous? Haha!

March 2, 2005 11:26 PM
#18 Will

hehe that was funny..

March 3, 2005 11:56 AM
#19 Pete

Hee-hee, honk, I knew I had a good reason for memorizing the value of pi to 20 places. And if you if you're curious: 3.14159265358979323846. Hee-hee honk. Snort. Honk.

March 22, 2005 09:45 PM