All hail Pete, the greatest Tetris player in the history of the universe

Well, not in the history of the universe, but most certainly in the state of Illinois.

The game is actually called New Tetris and it's a pastime I've shared with Tim and Dave since we were college freshmen. Unfortunately, my two homeys have since lost interest. Tim just listens to death metal all day now. And Dave, he's become an Ebay-holic -- the most dangerous type of "holic" out there since "alcoholic" and "Catholic".

As for me, I'm still an enthusiast, word is bond. Who needs to play Madden 2005 all day when you can mess with different-shaped blocks that drop from the sky?

I haven't gotten a chance to play seriously in the last year or so because I've been busy, but today I had an itch that needed scratching. So I dusted off the ol' N64, put in my game, and went to work.

It only took about fifteen minutes for me to play out of my rust. Don't you hate how when you're recklessly stacking up those blocks and they are coming down really fast and your heart is pounding and you're like: "Where the FUCK is that skinny long piece?!?!" Don't you just hate that? Well that never happens to me, because I am pretty much a Tetris genius.

If Alexey Pajitnov could see me now he would nod his head in approval. If he could speak a lick of english he'd say, "Daaamn you got mad skillz."

And about two hours later, I accomplished the unthinkable: I broke my previous record four times in one sitting. 742. 744. 744. 770.

If these scores mean nothing to you, check out how they compare in a list of the highest-ever documented New Tetris sprint mode scores, and be amazed. According to the list of best scores per person, my 770 game would rank me at number 12 in the world. And Jeff Henderson from Evanston, IL, you better watch out. I'm coming after you, you Northwestern University snob!